TOP 10 MAGA NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

Emotion, ignorance, and acting against one's interests continue as a dominant theme

After months of conducting painstaking surveys, engineering complex computer analyses, and skillfully infiltrating conservative think tanks, the team at BANTERS (Outspoken and Shallow State) is proud to unveil its Top 10 MAGA New Year’s Resolutions. May this list provide you with wonderment and disgust. May it guide you and comfort you as you prepare to roll your eyes for the foreseeable future. May it remind you to laugh, when possible, to stay sane no matter what, and always - RESIST.

• BE MORE ANGRY

• TURN FLAGS UPSIDE DOWN

• EAT MORE MAC ‘N CHEESE

• BELIEVE MORE CONSPIRACIES

• READ LESS

Commentary: The Mac ‘N Cheese resolution is perhaps the most surprising of the first 5 upon initial view. But it’s cheap, crusty, congeals and grows mold - much like MAGA.

• SECRETE MORE DOPAMINE

• GO TO DENTIST, FINALLY

• GO TO CHURCH, MAYBE

• BLAME SCIENCE

• LURN TO SPELL

IN CLOSING, our TRUE New Year’s Resolution is that this Banters collaboration continues to present a more complete picture of what we’ll face ahead with frank exchanges that never pull punches. We’ll discuss anxiety, current events, human behavior, staying sane, coping with fear and loss, and resisting. We’ll do it with focus and flavor and perspective. Thanks to all for reading and subscribing.

CREDITS: Art by Outspoken.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

- over 1,000 subscribers in 7 days - thank you!